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Let’s talk about little red flags. Little red flags are all of the little signs and symptoms that indicate that you are not coping. My therapist explained them to me by drawing this picture of a cliff edge. Over the cliff, right down the bottom lives depression. You don’t want to go there. On the […]
When I first started therapy I just didn’t realise that it was an interactive activity. I believed that my therapist was there to talk to me and listen to my troubles and offer the odd piece of advice. I thought that at the end of each session we packed up our bat and ball and […]
In 1995 I said to my soul mate ‘Till death do us part’- little did I know that 10 years later I would find myself sitting next to Rachael watching her soul drift away right before my eyes. I just couldn’t believe that I was losing her after such a short time together. I remember […]
This week I wanted to share with you my favourite poem by Portia Nelson that I feel really sums up what it is like to live with and recover from bipolar disorder. I know this may not have been the original intent of the poem, but for me it tells of how in recovery we […]
I don’t remember when I had my first ever panic attack. For a while there they happened every week. That intense, overwhelming feeling of impending danger takes over you and you become completely frozen in fear. Everything around you slows down as if you’re living in slow motion. Your heart feels like it is going […]
I have a confession to make. I enjoyed the hell out of my manic episodes! They were destructive and soul destroying but I have never in my life felt so high and so energetic. It’s like a drug. You feel ten foot tall and completely bullet proof. Nothing can bring you down. You can achieve […]
It’s difficult to sit by an watch someone you love fall into the darkness of depression, knowing that there isn’t much you can do. This short verse was something I used to help me make sense of how it feels to be beside bipolar.
I once heard the great Stephen Fry say that if given the opportunity he wouldn’t choose to live without his bipolar. He thought that bipolar made up who he was and stimulated the creative side of his soul. I’ve often wondered if I agreed with him. All I have ever wanted is to be a normal person. My husband Scott tells me all the time that I am normal, I just have an illness that affects the way I live sometimes.